Don’t Tell Your Kids They are Smart

A Scientific American article says that a focus on effort will make your kids more successful than a focus on intelligence.

Our society worships talent, and many people assume that possessing superior intelligence or ability—along with confidence in that ability—is a recipe for success. In fact, however, more than 30 years of scientific investigation suggests that an overemphasis on intellect or talent leaves people vulnerable to failure, fearful of challenges and unwilling to remedy their shortcomings.

You may think that telling your kids they are smarter than the other kids will boost their self-confidence, but the research shows that this kind of thinking can lead to failure when the work becomes more difficult.  Learners that think they are more intelligent are quicker to become disillusioned by problems they cannot easily solve.

So instead of trying to pump your kids up with positive statements about how smart they are, tell them instead that their effort gives them an edge.  If they understand that they cannot possibly know everything, they will be ready to learn new things quickly.